ceruleanhail: (Default)
2023-01-09 06:36 pm
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Book Club Report #14: Sweet Bean Paste

Discovery:
I first saw the book in Kinokuniya. The cover that has an old woman, a female high school student and a chef standing together to admire the cherry blossoms. I was drawn to the wholesome cover and convinced the rest to try this peaceful book for December. Little did I know, the book is not as peaceful as it seemed.

What's It About?:
Sweet Bean Paste by Durian Sukegawa is a standalone Japanese novel, translated by Alison Watts. Ex-convict Sentaro works in a small confectionary shop that sells dorayaki. An old woman named Tokue inquired about the shop's hiring poster in hopes to work with Sentaro, and she makes a mean sweet bean paste for dorayaki. The story mostly focuses Sentaro's POV and how his life is enriched by his friendship with Tokue, and how he has to weather some twists and turns life offered. 

General Thoughts (Mild Spoilers):
  • The first half of the book was wholesome and nice, especially when Tokue starts working in the shop with Sentaro.
  • Love the subtle dorayaki representation; Tokue's deep flavours shaped by her past, Sentaro's barely passing dorayakis.
  • Love Tokue and Sentaro's conversations.
  • Tokue's departure was a sad turning point.
  • Felt that Wakana's relationship wasn't well-developed, had expected more between her and Sentaro... but I guess it shows the hidden social barriers, and that Tokue is able to transcend them, and that they were only able to transcend these social barriers FOR her.
  • Mixed feelings with latter half of the book, which felt a bit more like a hidden biography on how leprosy patients were historically treated in Japan.
  • A beautiful message despite the bittersweet ending: on finding little joys/pleasures of life, on keeping kindness despite hardships, on endless possibilities if one is willing to listen and open their heart.
ceruleanhail: (Default)
2022-12-25 12:32 am
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Writing Reflection: Christmas Gifts 2022

 AO3 Links:
 
 
Writing Intention:

It's been ages I'd written. In the beginning, I wasn't sure if I have the energy to do giveaways... BUT I did it anyways, because there are a few friends whom I know I won't be able to send Christmas cards to, and these are the only ways I could shower my love on them though frankly I could have sent Christmas card to Rae, ugh, why am I a dum dum.


Planning Process + The Journey:

This year's Christmas fic planning is a little unique as most of them are inspired by recent books I read. Without further ado!!

a) Found
saltedpin: "it's up to you!!! i would be very happy w anything, but you know i love ushioi, adlers trio, and ushisaku a lot, but also i'd be really happy with something kita-centric too, arankita or ushikita are also both great :D"

Despite the freedom, this fic gave me the most challenge and is the last fic I came up with ideas concrete enough to write. :'D 

I debated between writing UshiOi or another Adlers trio. Then, Legend of Mana's Jumi arc inspired an angsty YuuO idea where Yuusaku is the Clarius of Jumi, tasked to cry and heal his people in exchange for a little of his life, and Ogata as his Jumi Knight kills him in the end after a passionate lovemaking... except, a) I don't have the guts to write YuuO nor am I confident to do them justice, and b) do I really want to write angst as a Christmas gift?? Alas, my conscience did not allow me to.

So I ended up crying to Raccoon-san for help, who suggested Adlers Trio zoom call. I ruminated over the idea, tried to work around it... I wasn't sure if I could do Adlers chaos, but it did gave me an idea to write a "Ushijima Wakatoshi celebrates Christmas alone but in a peaceful and happy way.". I googled some ideas on what to do alone for Christmas and stumbled across this article (particularly 5th point! Bam! Wakatoshi and Kita Yumie interaction fic!), which led to further research on initiatives with similar concepts

This fic was inspired by:

  • my fandom friends, one going through seasonal depression and another questioned their connections with people.
  • a conversation in my close gamer friends group, in fact, the banger line "People often feel like disappearing from the world, but in truth, they just want to be found" was from a friend (Poea/Slap).
  • Mob Psycho 100 season 3, particularly episode 5 and 6.

Other than writing with the aim to please giftee, I aimed for something meaningful and something to reverse some expectations, perhaps, in a sense, I wanted to write something that's saying "it's okay to not celebrate Christmas, it's okay to celebrate Christmas differently, it's okay to celebrate Christmas." and "My life is my own, and I am content to spend a little time out of my busy life with you, because it's my choice and you're worth it". I'm not sure how well the message came across, but I hope people could derive some enjoyment and respite out of it.

It was also the fic I re-discovered fun in writing again, and the thrill in looking forward to write. Writing was fairly instinctive too, as last minute ideas simply flowed.

Just like last year, saltedpin's fic is the last I conceived idea for but also ended up feeling the most satisfied in terms of writing. uwu;;

b) do you hear the beans speak?
Rae: "Baking Christmas treats! Kita with anyone!"

The idea of this fic is largely inspired by Sweet Bean Paste by Durian Sukegawa, though it went through several POV and idea change.

At first, it was meant to be a Tendou and Kita fic, but writing Tendou gave me too much pressure... oTL

So I decided to be kind to myself and lean back to Kita's POV instead. However, writing this from Kita's POV felt too... typical, like it would fit him too well, but it felt almost naggy... Changing the POV to Ushijima made everything more whimsical (which was what I aimed for), and everything came out naturally.

The entire "do you think the beans speak?" conversation was a sudden burst of inspiration, added 1 hour before posting. It was an unintentional boon, not quite what I'd originally wanted to convey, but... I hope it reaches to the people who need to read this.

Nevertheless, fic was a slight book vent, but I don't think it really conveyed how I feel from reading the book...? Words are hard. oTL

The title is a small reference/play with a sentence of Mili's Ender Lilies' lyrics "Do You Hear the Lilies Sing?".

It's funny that Rae's fic always remains the easiest to conceive and first to finish. Maybe because I tend to aim for simplicity when I dedicate a fic for her, much like her straightforward style.

c) Thinking Cup
Raccoon-san: "WashiMimi and cooking. Or sightseeing. Or anything familiar to you. As in, don't go "guy being dramatic on the beach meme" over japanese tea again."

Raccoon-san's request inspired many ideas, namely because I thought I could just put whatever I experienced in US into a fic! But as much as I could imagine the beginning of most fics, I couldn't imagine the ending. But Raccoon-san said 'anything familiar' is fine, and I'm familiar with Fantasies!!! So I decide to go for it~ /o/

Legends & Latte by Travis Baldree inspired the gist of this fic, this is loosely based off Raccoon-san's Fantasy WashiMimi!AU where Oomimi is a necromancer and Washio is a headless knight only shared within DMs. The idea solidified when I could see both beginning and ending.

... Except, only the beginning maintained. The entire fic went through a drastic change once I sit down and start writing. One of the original ideas was having Washio and Oomimi having a passionate discussion because Oomimi intended to whore himself for money to maintain the Tea House, but that felt too melodramatic. Another was Oomimi's Tea House got destroyed, and Oomimi bemoaned how cruel Fates are to him only to be helped by the people around him, except, I felt that this would require a proper build up...

So, the entire fic slowly weaved itself as I wrote the beginning, but it was something that pretty much achieved what I intended:

  • a nod to Raccoon-san's world
  • Shiratorizawa (only because this team was untouched by Raccoon-san's AU yet, and I feel more confident writing them than Aoba Johsai or other teams)
  • lovey-dovey WashiMimi that Raccoon-san like.

I had fun writing this one. It got a little out of control in the end, but it's often the out-of-control parts that are lots of fun to write. That said, perhaps due to the small Tendou writing practice in do you hear the beans speak? first draft, I was okay with writing him here. Perhaps, in future, I should consider writing one-shots of characters I'm unfamiliar with but intend to use to promote that familiarity...? =w=; I really enjoyed writing him though, he may sound like a dick, but he's really just gathering information while proving a point that his instinct towards Washio is correct.

Also for some reason, focusing on this fic was hard; I did the other two fics on laptop, but this fic was progressed mostly on my mobile before I became comfortable enough to continue on my laptop. 

As this was mostly inspired by Legends & Lattes, I named the fic after Oomimi's Tea House too. Haha.

Just like last year, Raccoon-san's fic is the last fic I finished despite ideas conceived really early. It may be because I take extra care in their fics, but it may be also be due to them being in a timezone behind everyone else. x'D (GMT-3, compare to GMT+8 and GMT+11)


What’s Hard/Can Be Improved:

1. Worrying Too Much - Starting is always the hard part, I stressed over some of these fics and had difficulty starting... but it usually goes away when I really sat down and start writing. Gotta think of ways to manage stress...

2. Writing is Hard - IT STILL IS DDDD; I know I have to accept it, but it still sucksssssss /o/

3. Writing New Characters - Did mentioned earlier that I had difficulty writing new characters, but it seems fine if I get to practice a bit...? Practice makes better! /o/


What’s Fun/What’s Funny/What I Learn:

1. Talking Helps - There is something magic about discussing a fic, or even crying for help. But then again, it's putting the ideas out there that usually leads to inspiration and more ideas. 

2. Story Writes Itself - All three fics have parts that went out of control and wrote themselves. Perhaps I should learn, from this, that ideas may come even if it feels hopeless or stuck? I just have to start it with a vague idea of what I want and have the story lead me to the conclusion.

3. If Stuck, Change Around Things - As mentioned earlier, I wrote two fics on laptop and one fic on mobile. Changing around things certainly help, I should do something new if I ever feel stuck. Like a change of environment or device.

4. I Still Wuv Writing - I started off this challenge feeling nothing but some determination, and ended up gaining lots from this. I still love writing, and I hope to write more next year! /o/
ceruleanhail: (Default)
2022-12-02 10:26 am
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Book Club Report #13: The Scorpio Races

Discovery:
Yet another Maggie Stiefvater book that Crystal highly recommends for November reading, because the book starts off with the sentence “It is the first day of November and so, today, someone will die.". I jumped into this book blind and started many books along with it, but this won the book race by capturing my attention enough to reach the end.

What's It About?:
The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater is a standalone novel. The story is unfolded via two characters' POV: Sean Kendrick, a four-time champion veteran water-horse rider, and Puck Conolly, a rookie rider who intends to ride her normal horse against the dangerous water-horses typically used during the race. A story of hopes and dreams, of how characters inspired each other, of how there is more than just one's world.

General Thoughts (Mild Spoilers):
  • Initially iffy with Sean Kendrick, who is set up to be a broody veteran (Ms Stiefvater seems to likes her broody rebels!), but his POV development and eventual revelation of vulnerabilities are great.
  • A story that blooms slowly but satisfyingly, every chapters just adds depth to the island and characters.
  • Characters! Most of them have depth! Even Benjamin Malvern (or his son, Mutt), one may dislike them but one can understand the reason behind their action and reaction.
  • George Holly is my fav character overall, his interaction with Sean is enjoyable but his character shines when he's with Puck.
  • Finn is a precious boy and I'm glad everyone treated him well! ; v ; Love his great luck with money and subtle growth.
  • I thought Gabe and Tommy had something, but they were just best friends... maybe they're "best friends".
  • Witty sentences forced my finger into utilizing Kindle Highlight feature, I highlighted quite a few sentences in there.
  • The chapters are short and quite easy to breeze through, but the style matches poorly with the climax. In fact, personally felt that climax is choppy to read due to the constant shifting POVs. It isn't an issue usually, but each chapter is usually divided with a "Chapter XXX" page, so every shift disconnects me from the story a bit....
  • Last chapter made me teared! ;_;

Book Discussion:


(To be added)
ceruleanhail: (Default)
2022-12-02 10:22 am
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Book Club Report #12: If We Were Villains

Discovery: Saw a friend's To-Read in Goodreads he book was eventually chosen as our October book because of its presumably spooky vibes.

What's It About?: If We Were Villains by M.L. Rio tells of a story between a tightly knit group of seven actors studying Shakespeare in an elite art academy. In their final year, a casting change sowed discord between the group and changed the dynamics of their friendship, eventually leading to one of them being dead. The rest had to live on with an insidious secret and an ongoing mystery (was it an accident or was their friend murdered?) while convincing the police that they're innocent.

General Thoughts (Mild Spoilers):
  • Feels like a lite (and more hopeful, depending on how the ending is interpreted) version of The Secret History by Donna Tartt.
  • Beginning was hella confusing because it introduces so many characters at once that it took a while to know who is who.
  • Mixed feelings with its writing style; it's semi-script style pays homage to Shakespeare works, but it feels a little lazy.
  • Would totally be okay if the story focuses on the past instead of shifting timelines, but I assume that's to set the base that what's past is past, and to assure that all answers will be revealed later. 
  • Probably would have enjoyed the book more if I could remember/read Shakespeare's works and themes.
  • Enjoyed most of the characters and their eventual development. Quite like the push-and-pull between James/Oliver/Meredith.
  • Some of the stuff the characters do are so stupid, but it's believably stupid coz they're young.
  • James and Oliver! Is! So! Unfortunate! The feelings were without words yet it was portrayed so loudly! It's sad the confession happened at such unfortunate timing, but oof! The feels!
  • Oliver and Meredith's relationship could have been simple and yet carries so much burden, fraught with too many questions. I never doubted Oliver's answers when Meredith asked (probably for the sake of the readers) in the end.
  • The climax hits so hard D; So much feels ;_;
  • Mixed feelings about the ending, but I'll take the hopeful interpretation.

Book Discussion:


(To be added)
ceruleanhail: (Default)
2022-11-29 09:38 pm
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Book Club Report #11: The Raven Boys

Discovery:
It's been a long time coming. The Raven Cycle series is adored by my good friend/beta, Crystal. She has been trying to get me into reading her favourites, and the surefire way to do so is adding it into our book club collection pool. Her wish came true: The Raven Boys was chosen for September's reading.

What's It About?:
The Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater is book 1 of the The Raven Cycle quartet with 3 spin-offs. The story revolves around a girl named Blue Sargant who was told by her fortune telling aunts that her true love will die because of her. The summary is fairly deceptive as it portrays the book to be a "Will They? Won't They?" between Blue and Gansey (a charming and rich Raven Boy), but it centers around Gansey's Supernatural Quest, Newfound Family, and Unfortunate Circumstances and Conflicts of Personalities that eventually leads to Conflict.

General Thoughts (Mild Spoilers):
  • Was admittedly intimidated by this book because it's a friend's top fav, but Chapter 1 makes it easy to get into because I'm a sucker for fortune telling and premonitions.
  • Despite strong inclinations that there would be romance ("the person you fall in love with will die!"), there is NO romance AND love triangles! In fact, the focus seems to be more on the conflicts and relationships between Raven Boys, with Blue slowly getting to know each of them.
  • Characters are varied and established pretty strongly, though the boys feel overhyped. Probably because they're presumably rich kids going to rich school from Blue's POV...?
  • Enjoyed some of their banters and specific sentences on how a character feels about the other.
  • Have a soft spot for Blue's fortune-telling aunts.
  • Starts off slow and confusing especially when it comes to the boys' POV (because they are introduced together), I'd initially mistaken Gansey as one of Ronan's sibling only to realize later they're not related at all.
  • Gets slightly better in the middle, with a climax that feels both exciting and personal between characters.
  • Love the twist on Noah!
  • Ronan seems to be setting up to be a popular character despite his mystery, no wonder Crystal like that bad boy.
  • Gansey and Adam seems to have the most focus in this book. Stronk shipping potential!
  • There are still a few unanswered questions that are probably left to keep reader's interest, but it doesn't give me a strong urge to continue the next instalment ASAP. Maybe someday.


Book Discussion:

(To be added)

ceruleanhail: (Default)
2022-11-29 06:11 am
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First Post: Some Rambles & Brainstorm

Hellooooo! I've created this place quite a while ago only to leave it to collect dust. :'DD

I've been thinking of moving my Wordpress written works to this place considering how tags are listed, making it easy to navigate here. This seems like a safe place to post NSFW drafts too- love the Age Restriction options. 

I know Tumblr's a thing after Twitter changes, but I'm still iffy about their rules regarding NSFW...? I heard things have changed in Tumblr, but it still never hurts to be safe. Perhaps the only drawback is that there are less people to connect here, but it just means I can write freely without any paranoia.

It's been so hard to write these days.

But I know I just need to get back to typing again. Even if words feel icky, even if there (seemingly) isn't time and energy.

There's something I recently read from a newsletter that I'm eager to tempted to make it a daily:
Write down one “story-worthy” moment from your day, every single day.
Limit yourself to 3 minutes max. Limit yourself to 3 sentences max

The only problem is, I'm unsure where to post this. This seems suitable for bird app, but I'm also worried about the reliability. Maybe here, with tags? Maybe I'll just do it in an Excel Spreadsheet and release it every weekend. Ah, we'll see.

Perhaps that'll be a good warm-up to Christmas gifts. There isn't as many this year, simply because I didn't push/remind moots this year. I don't have as much energy and time like before, and I'm glad most were resolved with Christmas cards. There are only 3 gifts to write, all with prompts that gave birth to really long ideas or is it just my brain asking me to free itself?! :'DD But time and energy are an issue, so let's see how I can simplify them.

I reiterate, the tags section here looks good. The closest I could make a tags list in WordPress was having a Tag Cloud Widget and that sucks. Maybe I'm not computer-literate enough for this! QvQ

Soooo, I'll be using this place for:

a) Writing of All Kinds: Drabbles, One-shots, etc.
b) Unbeta'd Fanfic Drafts
c) Original Works
d) Book Club Thoughts
e) TRPG - alt endings, one-shots, recaps
f) Writing Reflection

My current writing goals are:

a) rebuild my writing habits
b) write freely and shamelessly!

May this be a good beginning! \o/